Living here...
I once had the greatest impatience for folks who came to this valley and didn't understand what this was all about here, on MY terms. I was filled with my own busy-ness and impatient with what I viewed as laziness and ignorance. After all, I understood! So many people get off the plane, and play a match of tennis and wind up with a splitting headache that doesn't go away for the entire stay...
The climate here is tough, and the "air is thin" which is shorthand for the altitude makes for a dearth of oxygen for those who aren't acclimated. Breathing is a basic need...here you have to try harder! Seasonal activities are cold-weather-- October though May. It can snow in August in the high country. My worst case of frostbite came at the end of August in Box Canyon; both of my feet were severely frostbitten...so badly injured that I could barely walk. My uncle Louis demanded to know why I was hobbling around the cabin after a summer season on trips up high in the mountains. I took my boots and socks off so he could see my feet, and revealed the grayish white of the frostbite that had occurred weeks earlier. He nearly fell over in shock; incredulous that I would have waited so long!! My feet recovered, thanks be to God!, but I am left with a particular sensitivity to cold and a vulnerability to frostbite in the future.
I love it here. There is no other place in the world I would rather be. My heart and my very soul are here. The best times are here, the most Love is here, the best memories from the past and present are here. I can still go to the location of the cabins at the base of the Teton Range, directly at the base the Grand Teton mountain. The property was sold to the government years ago and is a part of the National park now. It was painful back then to see it sold, but now it is a good thing it was. It isn't private property today, and I can go back and find the remnants of the driveway laid of river rock... back to the cabin foundations, which still stand among the cottonwood trees alongside Cottonwood Creek. I can sit and listen to the soft flowing murmur of the creek and remember my father and grandfather and uncles stepping off the front porch to fish the waters ....coming back to the cabin with supper to be prepared and cooked over a log fire. Everything was so simple then.
Last year, Jim brought me back to this valley and we knew that I was very seriously ill. As we drove into the valley I wept at the thought that this might be the last time I would come back. The tumor that had been found was taking all of my strength, my kidney function was impaired, and the pain was overwhelming, My right side was deadened and weakened from the effect of the tumor on my nerves and muscles. Now I was humbled, and I learned some very tough lessons. Last year, I experienced a dearth of oxygen. I was unable to hike any of the trails I normally hike without effort, and so Jim took me out to the valley to walk the valley bike paths. The bike paths are paved and flat with just a little bit of rise and fall. I could not walk 100 yards on the bike paths without experiencing excruciating pain and low oxygen levels. I tried to fish the Firehole River, as we always do each year, up in Yellowstone. I pulled on my waders and insisted on wading out into the river, only to find that because I couldn't feel my right side or lift my right leg, I was unable to get back to the riverbank on my own!
God has always taught me lessons that I have needed to learn and He hasn't always taken the easy road to teach me. But one thing is sure....The Lord has always been there for me, no matter how difficult, no matter how painful, no matter how frightening or impossible. When I have found myself at the most hopeless point, I can see how He has been there for me, how He has released me, how He has healed me, how He has provided the solutions and the way, the Path, to follow. He has humbled me again and again; and on occasion He has held up a great big mirror for me to look into, to see the answer that was there all along!
Jim brought me back here to this valley this year. I am healing still, and almost whole again. Surgery and rehabilitation have put me back together. The Lord has provided his healing hand through prayers from so many wonderful people who helped me through this ordeal. But there are lessons that I must remember. We have been here a week, and for the first 4 days oxygen levels were lower than average. I had to take the time....the time that I criticized for others...to build my oxygen levels over time. The first day we walked the flats 2 miles. The second day 2.5 miles. The third day 4.5 miles on a trail up the mountain I had not been able to hike for 2 years! The next accomplishment was a 10 mile bike hike....and I am gaining speed and endurance. I have gained much of what I lost, and learned the lessons I needed to learn at the same time. Still, I have a long way to go!
What about the future? For Jim and for me, a five-year plan to relocate, ... is not a done deal. I found job opportunities here and was tempted, but now is not the time. Jim loves it here... but not as much as I do and not enough to throw everything away. There is a church family here, and a place to live, and so much work to do. How will we accomplish all that we need to make the dream reality? Only God knows the way, and we leave it in His hands. It's one of the things I have learned, kneeling at His feet where I belong.
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